BEING SINGLE – HEAR THIS OUT

I just had a lengthy discussion with a friend thru BBM (Blackberry Messenger).  What could be one of the most interesting topics there to discuss?  Of course matter of the heart, relationship, etc.  And between my circle of friends and I, we or should I say they like talk about about my being single.

Right now, I am at the verge where I want to scream…. Please! Give me a break.

Why is it, that my being single is so much of an issue with people around me – Family, Friends and Colleagues, and even with people who barely know me.

My life has enough drama of its own already and the pressure from other people that (as if) I need to hook up myself with someone is not helping me in any way.

Married friends would tell me.... "you should settle down, it’s going to be sad to grow old alone.  When you are married at least there would be someone you could share life with and have kids who would look after you when you get old."

I totally get this but in my point of view I would say this is good reason for people who are scared to be alone.  You can disagree but, what would be the assurance that your partner will stick with you till the end?  Will he or she live as long as you need him or her?  And that your kids will really look after you?  

They would only show me the beautiful picture of married life and forget to show me the part where the husband cheats, the husband beats the wife, the husband is one lazy being who would come home and the wife is obliged to give into his every demand.

Raising kids is another issue.  You may say I am someone who has a lot of hang ups in life, but that’s me, call me whatever you want to call me but that will not change the way I am.  For me making a family is not something you do because that’s what people expect you to do.  It is more than feeding your kid, providing education and shelter.  It is taking responsibility of the whole human being, mind, body and soul.  I have a hard time taking care of myself, and you expect me to take care of another human being?  And I mean no disrespect to others, but some people here in Dubai after giving birth they would send the baby to the Philippines for some reason.  This I don’t want to happen to me, I will be wherever my own family is.  I will keep us together by all means.  

What I am trying to say is, before you say something to me about married life, make sure yours is something to look up to *wink*.  Don’t be like you want me to marry whoever comes, and then separate when it’s not going to work out, remember divorce is costly.

I don’t want to be into something I am not ready to be in.  Right now settling down is the least among my list of priorities in life.  I am enjoying my life.  It’s my choice.  Deal with it (lol).  Rest assured I will do it when I am ready, in the right time and with the right one, if he will ever come.    

Single Friends – Different or varied situations:  Some of my friends are looking or searching; some are in relationship that is working; and some are into relationship that is going nowhere.

• Some would complain why is it that it seems easy for others to find someone and be in a relationship, even those who has 3 kids already how come they were able to find a partner?  The reason is simple they are bold and unafraid.  They are not afraid to take risk, they are liberated enough to express when they like someone, coz for one thing they got nothing to lose.  If it’s going to work out good for them, someone will father (her/their) kids, if not it will be just another journey they would charge to what we call experience.  

• Some would complain about their relationship that they have been into it for some time already and the partner has not popped up the question yet and no hint if he will ever be.  If you can wait no more, do something, I mean don’t just sit there on your ass and do nothing.  If he can’t ask you now he will never be considering the time you have been together, unless he has a very good reason.

• I hate it when some of my friends would act as if they know what they are talking about.  Especially those who are - had not ever been into relationship.  They would tell me do this - do that, as if they’ve done it.  If you have not experienced it, don’t insist that I do it.

Family – I am so glad that my family has gone tired bugging me to settle down.  They have already accepted the fact that only I can control my life.   Though sometime they still express what they want for me, but in a subtle way (lol).

Colleagues – I don’t care much with what they say, after all they are just my colleagues, they can say as much as they can say but it will never change what I want to do with my life.

Bottom line is, how I live my life is my decision, mine alone.  People around me could only say as much as what they want to say just to insist a point, but that will not change my decision.  With this, I will only have myself to blame when things go wrong.

I am taking my time and I am enjoying every moment of my life.  I travel when I get the chance.  I have the liberty to help my siblings when the need arises (this is an issue with some of the married couples).  I could do whatever I want to do.  This I hope people who care for me would see and understand.  And when I go out with someone and then decide not to pursue or push it through, I wish they will not panic and start to nag like I did something wrong hahaha.  I have already done and experience so much in life and having said that, and if I may add this, I think I am no longer naïve not to see if what I am dealing with is all worth it or just a waste of time.

At my age, I have already gone so far with no regrets, the case has always been “thanks God for what I did”, have always been guided.  I have done things and tried what is there to try so that in the future I will never have to deal with “what ifs”.  I have decided things on my own and I could say, it has not caused me any harm, more so, has made me wiser and stronger.

Things happen for a reason.  Wherever fate takes me, be with someone or all by myself, it is for a reason, and only God knows what.  But at this point of time, I just want to enjoy my life as it is- simple with no complications.  If I like someone I will go out and have fun. I will try to enjoy every moment while it last.  No pressure.  Just like that.  If it will work then maybe that’s it, but if not, I hope I don’t get to be blamed and be nagged by people who I expect to support me with my every decision.

I am just thankful for those people who would tell me to just enjoy life.  Not to rush things.  If something is bound to happen it will happen no matter what.  It’s your life live it the way you want it - You are the kind of people I want to sit with somewhere, have a cup of coffee and just talk and have a good laugh and just relax.

I have already plan my life and I am sticking with it, I am sure I will take a few diversion along the way, but it will still lead me to the direction where I want to be.  

However, if God decides otherwise who am I to argue with that?   His plan will always be better than mine, and so be it.   

There it is!  Hope you hear me out loud.

I now rest my case.